When It’s Okay to Not Fit In

This may be one of the first personal, but somewhat controversial, topics I’ve ever blogged about.

But, here we go.

Lately, aside from my very close-knit family, I’ve been feeling like I don’t fit in.

Do you know what I often hear?

“I just don’t really feel like I know you” or, one of my personal favorites, “Maybe one day I’ll know more about you”.

This is awkward for me. It really, really is. It puts me in a very weird position as far as what I share and who I choose to share it with. And I’m past the point of viewing it as someone saying it with good intentions. Because, really, it’s just being rude.

I’m a very closed-off person. I don’t share everything. In fact, I rarely share things at all. I listen more than I speak simply because I choose to keep quiet and keep my life private.

Yes, I blog, and yes, I frequently let you all into my life through social media – but it’s important to remember that I choose what parts of my life you see. This not only applies to blogging, but those that are part of my everyday life, as well.

I don’t know why I essentially feel the need to defend myself – but I don’t think that everyone needs to know every detail about me, my marriage, or my child. 

Right now, everyone wants to know everything about everyone else and is so focused on who does what and who they’re friends with and so forth.

 I just don’t get it.

I can’t comprehend how some people can be so invested in other people’s lives. Even if it’s your own (adult) child, I find it odd to feel the need to be completely involved in everything they do. They’re an adult, for crying out loud. Let them be.

How someone can just walk in the door after a day at work, not greet their spouse, and jump right into, “Guess what I learned about _____ today?” is beyond me. But people do it.

Or, something that’s all too common: people adding a friends second cousin or a friends grandmother on Facebook that you met one time – not because you actually want to be their friend – but because you just want to know what they’re doing with their life.

I hope if my kids take one thing from me to carry with them for the rest of their lives, it’s to completely ignore what everyone else is doing and don’t be afraid to keep to yourself. Aside from my spouse (+ parents & sibling), nobody knows everything there is to know about me. And they won’t – simply because they don’t need to and I don’t want them to.

I hope our kids understand that being nosey is not a trait to brag or feel proud about. I find it to be the exact opposite.

Of course, I hope they have other traits of ours too, but I hope they learn and understand that life becomes much more simple if you don’t concern yourself with what everyone else is doing all the time.

I can’t even begin to imagine how exhausting that must be.

It’s so important to take care of yourself and focus on you. It’s very hard to do that (effectively) if you’re focused on everyone else and what they’re doing in their own life. Set some time aside and focus on you. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t worry about what they have going on in their own lives. Because, remember, you may only hear or see what they want you to know.

greenergrass

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3 thoughts on “When It’s Okay to Not Fit In

  1. I totally get how you feel. I am usually outgoing and say what is on my mind, sometimes I tell people what is going on but I don’t do it to start drama/gossip I do it when advice is needed or I feel like my situation can help another know they aren’t alone. I do know a few people who lay everything out for you when you hardly know them and others who like to stick there nose in places it doesn’t belong. What a great read, thank you for sharing. ❤

  2. I totally respect your opinion. I think its very important to only share your stories and your life with those you can trust and feel can guard it safely. I think sometimes people want to deeply connect with others so they want to know more information, perhaps prematurely. And we definitely live an oversharing culture nowadays. I’m a person who easily opens up to others because I want them to open up to me and I think often others want to feel less alone by knowing that others go through similar things. I think it’s okay to say to people when they say that “I may not share a lot about myself but that doesn’t mean I can’t relate to you. I’m just a person who chooses to be cautious about what I share with others.”

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